Looking for something, maybe happiness

They say you need to be happy, search this feeling everywhere but sometimes happiness is not what you are looking for, maybe that feeling is not the same for each of us, maybe I'm not looking in the wrong place, maybe I'm looking for something else instead. Sometimes I feel like I'm wasting my time, just like I felt before, since I can remember it wasn't like a parade, I mean, my life is absolutely wonderful but I don't feel like i'm important, or loved, the only ones who need me are those little cats, I thought, but it is not that way, they are fine without me😦. I'm fortytwo and I still do not what to do with myself, i'm so fucking sad...